my will;

I’m dead, finally.
and with my body, most likely mutilated/ head blown off.
please cremate me.
(might sound odd but if that crackhead Margaret Beattie didn’t fuck with my Father’s ashes by now, mix us together and I will decide soon enough where we should go..)

btw: I’m sorry Dad, I WAS gonna call, I’m scared too. I’m so proud of you, you’re so brave to do that.

funeral or not, I would appreciate the following, so I can rest easy;
listen to Vacuity by Gojira, full blast.
listen to Art of Dying by Gojira, full blast.
the whole ‘way of all flesh’ album, and ‘from mars to sirius’.

watch every episode of Metalocalypse and actually pay attention to their lives and what they are saying so you understand how I think and why I did this.

optional..
listen to Sun of Nothing by Between the Buried and Me,
\Ants of the Sky, full blast.



with my ashes, bake me in shroom brownies and eat the fuck out of me so I am inside of you forever.

use my ashes when eating 'food'

ketamine is special. it really is.
it changed my life.

ps. I took her. then, myself. 
killing another person is the best feeling in the world,
i just saved a life.

and mine.

i don’t really have words. when you are really happy, there aren’t ever any.
the last day i lived was the happiest i had ever been.
happiness doesn’t  come often, so i chose to die with a smile on my face.

too bad i blew it off.

no thanks or fucks given.
no one will miss me, but they’ll all be happy,
because i have finally reached my goal.

and it only took a lifetime. 


bye.